“I met him on Wednesday, and by Saturday we knew we were soulmates.”
Those words belong to Danielle, one of the women whose stories unfold inside my journal. Maybe you’ve said something like them yourself. I understand why. When someone floods you with attention, promises, and affection, it can feel like the answer to every prayer you’ve ever whispered.
And there is nothing wrong with wanting that. Most of us long to be seen, chosen, and loved. That longing is beautiful. It’s also exactly what makes love bombing so powerful.
What love bombing can look like:
On its own, enthusiasm isn’t a red flag. The warning sign is intensity without consistency. It’s the grand gesture followed by a no-show, the “you’re everything to me” followed by silence and no explanation.
Mixed messages are messages. In Danielle’s story, Dylan was supposed to move in on Saturday. She made a special dinner. He never showed up and never answered her calls. The next day he had an explanation, and a concert ticket to make up for it.
She wanted to believe they were okay. Many of us would.
But here is a truth I’ve learned the hard way: when someone’s words and actions don’t match, believe the actions. Healthy love doesn’t require you to ignore dishonesty, inconsistency, or disrespect to keep it alive.
The courage to trust yourself. Red flags rarely announce themselves loudly. More often, they arrive as a quiet feeling in your stomach: something doesn’t add up. Your heart and body often notice things before your mind has found the words.
The bravest thing you can do isn’t confronting anyone. It’s simply giving that feeling your attention instead of talking yourself out of it.
Ask yourself:
Give it time. Real love doesn’t need to be rushed. If it’s authentic, it will remain. Time lets people show you who they truly are, and it lets you stay centered in your own peace while they do.
You don’t have to decide everything today. You only have to keep listening to yourself.
Day 10 of The Hidden Gifts of the Narcissist explores mixed messages, love bombing, and red flags through Danielle’s story, with reflection prompts to help you trust what you already know.
* These articles are for reflection and encouragement and are not a substitute for professional support. If you are in danger or feeling unsafe, please reach out to local emergency services, a domestic violence support organization, or a counselor you trust.